Sautéd Escarole vs the Gas Monster

So, after 17 and a half years of marriage, I have come to this conclusion. In order to be successfully united in matrimony, the only thing of importance is food, at least in a man’s perspective. Here is a typical conversation in my household:

HIM: Whaddaya wanna eat for dinner tonight?
HER: I dunno. What do you want?
HIM: I dunno.
HER: Okay. How about food?
HIM: Okay. What kind of food?
HER: Food that tastes good.
HIM: Hmmm. Food that tastes good….
HER: Yeah. It’s gotta taste good or I’m not eating.
HIM: We have all kinds of stuff in the freezer.
HER: I can defrost something.
HIM: Everything in there. Hard as rocks.
HER: Well, something that defrosts quick. Like ice cubes… or, um fish?
HIM: No ice cubes. I had them for lunch. How about fish.
HER: Salmon?
HIM: Okay. What kind of veggies?
HER: I can sauté up some nice beet greens, baby bok choy and escarole…
HIM: WHAT?!!
HER: Just kidding. Broccoli
HIM: That gives me gas.
HER: Everything gives you gas. You could fuel the planet with your natural gas.
HIM: Thank you.
HER: That would be a great idea for a new biz. Very green. You said you
wanted to get out of aerospace, right?
HIM: Do we have to talk about that now? I’m hungry! What veggies?
HER: How about non-gassy green beans.
HIM: Fine. With butter. No hot sauce this time. You fried my mouth last week.

(36 Minutes Later.)

HIM: That looks edible. (Eats and watches hockey game.)

(22 Minutes Later.)

HIM: That wasn’t bad, huh.
HER: Yeah. Not bad.

(For the next hour he flips the stations so he can simultaneously watch three hockey games, a couple of basketball games, the Olympics and Man vs. Food, while I do laundry and turn the garage into a heat shack. As soon as it’s dark, he heads into his cave and retires for the night.)

(Next Day.)

HIM: Whaddaya wanna eat for dinner tonight?

So that is pretty much the extent of what we talk about. He is reasonably happy. But every once in a while I’d like to sauté up some nice beet greens, baby bok choy and escarole. With a little garlic, lemon juice and grated sea salt…

Wedded bliss. Life is a fairytale.

baby bok choy · wedded bliss